Get Your Boyfriend Back - The Right Way to the Perfect Reconciliation

When you've been dumped out of the blue by the guy you know is Mr. Right, the one thing you want more than anything else in the world is to get your boyfriend back.

Unfortunately, the logistics of exactly how to do that are a little harder to lock down than you expect. But, there is a bit of a silver lining to consider.

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In most situations, you still have a little bit of time on your hands to work on winning him back. That's right. 

All is not lost -- at least not yet.

You still have a chance to get your boyfriend back. Here's what you need to do.

Hold Your Head Up High

Most women in your situation lock themselves up for days or weeks on end. They cut themselves off from the world and hide.

Don't let this happen to you. You broke up. It wasn't your choice. You weren't the bad guy (well, GIRL).  You have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

If you lock yourself away you're letting him think you're crying your heart out over him. Even if you are doing more than your fair share of crying, you don't want HIM to know. 

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Going out and rejoining the world with your head high gives him pause. It makes him wonder why you aren't crying in corner.

It forces HIM to turn his thoughts to YOU! This is a very good thing as far as getting him back goes.

Invest in Yourself

Now is a great time to invest in YOU! A breakup is a big change in your life. While it may not be the type of change you were hoping for or one you can get excited about, change is not, at its core a bad thing.

What kind of changes should you make? You want to focus on changes that are improvements -- changes that make you FEEL better. Empowering changes. Confidence-boosting changes.

1) Makeover

2) Wardrobe update

3) New hairstyle

4) Education

5) Employment

6) Career/Personal coaching

7) Self-help books and recordings

8) Dietary and nutrition changes

9) Fitness and health changes

While it may seem that these changes are all about him, they're really all about you. If you want to get HIM back, you must approach the process from a position of power.

You can't return to him on your knees begging for a second chance. If you still want to get your boyfriend back after you've done these things then you walk in the door, with your head held high, and fully understanding that you are worth a second chance.

Once you fully understand your contribution to the relationship and the value you add to his life, he'll have no choice but to recognize it too. If he doesn't, then he never really deserved you in the first place.

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How to Repair a Broken Relationship

Love is an awesome feeling shared by two people. However this romantic feeling brings with it some ups and downs that if not carefully handled, can lead to a break up.

Women are very different from men. This means that the couple needs to spend some time to study and discover what the other partner’s needs are. When a couple is faced with a break up, it of course takes a lot to come to terms with the situation. 

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However, true love always finds its way home. If you two are truly meant to be, then you shall eventually end up together and rekindle the love. When it comes to this, you need to learn tips on how to repair a broken relationship as you realize the magic of making up. 

1. Leave the Past Where it Belongs

During the time you spent apart, you probably realized just how difficult it is to live without the other person. For true love, the second chance comes stronger than the first time.

If this is to be then you definitely have to forgive and forget your partner’s past mistakes. Harboring contempt and anger towards them will make you a bitter person and poison your relationship. 

Reminding them over and over of their mistakes hinders them from moving forward. Let go of the past, they probably have learned their lesson and regret every single one of them. Let go and let him love you like you deserve.

2. Identify the Problem Areas

Truth of the matter is that your relationship got shaken the first time due to one or several problems. If you want to give your love a good survival chance then you have to deal with the root cause of the problem head on. 

Identify the problem and aim at resolving the issues together as a couple. This calls for a lot of sacrifice; compromise, unselfishness and understanding. If you find yourself going round in circles, you can invite a third party to give unbiased advice.

It would also be a good idea to find ways to prevent the problem from arising in the future. This puts a solid seal of security over your rekindled relationship hence making it even better.

3. Give the Relationship 100%; Meet your Partner Half Way

The beauty of rekindled love is the security and comfort derived from knowing that it flew away and still found its way back to you.

This means that your partner was free to look around elsewhere but still chose you; all over again. You need to make it last this time and the best way to do that is to give it 100%. Meet your partner half way. Play your part and your partner will too. A common mistake individuals make is to only give half and expect their partners to give their all. 

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The magic of making up is only realized when you apply these three tips to your rekindled love life. Take note of all the mistakes that sabotaged your love and collectively work on preventing them as a couple.

Remember, love is a two person game. As long as you are both willingly to make it work, then it will be stronger than ever.

 

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Can You Buy Your Ex Back?

Have you ever resorted to expensive gifts to make up for major misdeeds in the course of your relationship? Many men offer costly gifts to the women they love in hopes of smoothing things over and making it right. It may have started out with flowers and chocolates. Over time, the practice escalated to expensive jewelry, cars, homes, and vacations. The bigger the misdeed, the bigger the buyoff. 

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Unfortunately, this practice often does more harm for the relationship than good. The relationship becomes a series of highs and lows with each one attempting to outdo the other. Eventually, you're either out of money or in debt so big that even more problems are being created. All the while, nothing is getting solved. It's just being temporarily swept underneath the discarded ribbons, bows, and tissue paper.

Here are a few questions to help you get a handle on your gift buying tendencies whenever relationship problems arise.

How Much Will it Really Cost?

The costs are not always measured in dollars and cents. Men, especially, will gladly pay the price in dollars to avoid the emotional confrontation required to deal with the real, underlying problem in the relationship. Buying gifts provides a quick, albeit temporary, fix for a problem they don't really want to face. The thing is, the problem is still there the next time mistakes are made and the price tag for avoidance keeps getting bigger and bigger every single time.

How Much Have You Spent Already?

The other point to consider is this. How much money have you already spent trying to delay the inevitable? The longer you attempt to put it off, the harder it's going to be to deal with when the time comes. It's kind of like an onion. The core problem is still there. Unfortunately, you're going to have to go in and peel each individual layer, uncovering new problems and hurt feelings along the way, to get to the heart of the matter when the time does arrive to fix the problem or walk away. That money could solve many problems you're having and would have likely been much better spent building your future together rather than covering up the "sins of the past."

How much can you really afford to spend? This is the final question for many men in your shoes. There's never really enough, is there? Love is something that can't be bought. Forgiveness can't really be purchased either. Women may joke about it, but the truth is they'd rather fix the problems and save the relationship the old-fashioned way than through gifts and bribes. She's MUCH rather receive gifts from you as tokens of love from you instead of buyoffs for her affections.

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Can Cheating Be Good for a Relationship?

More often than not, the kneejerk reaction to this question is "No way!" At least, that's the clean version of the reaction. However, there are times when cheating can be good for a marriage. This is the case, according to research conducted by Dr. Lucielle Ostertag from the Italian Institute of Social Sciences. Her study concluded that husbands and wives who cheat on each other are more likely to remain married. She further concluded, however, that long-term affairs, on the other hand, were detrimental to the marriage. 

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Obviously, the theory raised in this study has been met with a great deal of controversy. It goes against what we've been teaching in churches and communities over the last few hundred years. However, if you look back even further, the idea of one man for one woman is a relatively new concept. In the early years of humankind, it was all about survival of the species. In later years, as survival was far more assured, monogamy became the prevailing philosophy and has been adopted by many religions and cultures around the world ever since.

When Does Cheating Work?

According to Dr. Ostertag cheating works best when it's done far from home, is a short-lived fling, and when couples adopt a "don't ask; don't tell" philosophy about their cheating. Some couples even plan for cheating and establish ground rules so that it works for them. 

How Can People Believe Cheating is Good?

Since the idea of cheating goes against the grain, it's hard for many people to understand why or how it could possibly be a good thing. The problem with many marriages is that you do marry your best friend. You love each other, but over time, the newness of it all, the sexual excitement, waivers. Turning to a short-term alternative, allows a little newness and excitement into the relationship without sacrificing the emotional bond or love the husband and wife have for one another.

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There is another way cheating can help make marriages stronger. That way involves confirming that the grass is perfectly green within the marriage. Sometimes, the affair serves to affirm the loving relationship you have at home. 

Is Cheating Good for all Relationships?

Absolutely not! There are all kinds of relationships where this would never work. Some people believe that there are certain vows that simple should not be broken. Forsaking all others is one of those vows. There's nothing wrong with being unable to forgive infidelity or unable to accept the idea that cheating could be good for marriage. Obviously, every marriage is different. What may be good for one is not necessarily good for others.

The take home from this should not be used to justify cheating. It's meant to show that it is possible to salvage your relationship, forgive, and move on even if your spouse has cheated on you. It is possible to forgive if that's what you want to do. You'll ultimately have to decide if you can make the most out of it in an effort to build a better relationship in the aftermath.

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Stop Comparing Your Romance to those On the Big Screen

There are many reasons why your romance will never measure up to those on the big screen. If you're constantly comparing your relationship, then you'll never be satisfied and both of you will end up being hurt in the long run. You might be curious about why it's such a bad thing to compare your relationship to those "picture perfect" relationships in Hollywood. Here are a few good reasons why your relationship will never measure up to theirs and why that's a good thing.

Hollywood Films have Professional Script Writers

More importantly, these scriptwriters spend hours agonizing over the right words and sequence of events to create a plausible conversation. And they have control of all sides of the conversation. In real world relationships, you only get control of what comes out of your own mouth and that's tenuous at best in the heat of the moment. 

You Don’t Get To Start The Scene Over When it Doesn't Play Out Right

The more heated the discussion becomes, the less control you seem to have over the words coming out of your mouth. That doesn't happen in Hollywood. The director just cuts the scene and takes a break when things aren't flowing the right way. You don't get an opportunity to "un-ring" bells in real life. Once it's come out of your mouth, it's there. In all its glory and for the one person who means the most in the world to hear.

The Actors Put Their Characters To Bed, Alone, Each Night

After a long day of practice, script reading, and careful staging or choreography, the actors leave their characters behind and return to their own lives. That's not a luxury you have when you're comparing your relationship to those on the Silver Screen. You're comparing something real -- your own relationship -- to something that's make believe and temporary at best. 

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Actors in the movies don't have to decide who pulls the midnight shift for diaper duty. They don't have to fight over who washes dishes or even who gets control of the remote control for the evening or any of the other petty worries that cause discontentment in modern relationships. 

At the end of the day, everything in Hollywood is the work of an entire team of people working towards one common goal. Hair is always picture perfect; makeup is just right, music, mood lighting, and script in place to produce a little magic on the screen. These things, while enchanting in pictures, fall flat and just shy of satisfying in real life. In the end, you'd grow tired of the façade and run off in search of the real deal or relationship gold. That's why it's better to skip out on the perfect front Hollywood presents and go for something a little heartier in your own relationships instead.

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